First Parish Unitarian UniversalistIs “Being” the Better Part?
A sermon preached by the Reverend Diane D. Teichert
First Parish Unitarian Universalist - Canton, MA
January 28, 2007
Reading
Luke 10: 38-42 -- Jesus Visits Martha and Mary, Christian Scriptures
Sermon
With this sermon today drawing meaning for daily life from the Christian scriptures (like the one last week drawing on the Jewish scriptures), I hope-- at the minimum--we are reminded of the treasures that lie in those two traditions, our historic roots as Unitarian Universalists.
But more than that, I hope that if you are touched by this message today or if it perks up your interest in exploring progressive interpretations of Jesus’ life story, his teachings, and the church doctrines that developed around his story, I hope you’ll stay today at noon to get a glimpse of the “Saving Jesus” course just-published in response to extremist literal interpretations of the Christian scriptures dominating religious discourse in America today, which we will be offering on alternate Wednesday nights starting on February 7th. You can come at noon in the Parlor (not Chapel) for the 20 or 30 minute Orientation, which will include a 12-minute video, whether or not you plan to sign up for the class. The merely curious are welcome!
So… as we heard in this morning’s reading from the book of Luke in the Christian scriptures and our impromptu re-enactment of it, Jesus stopped in at the home of some friends, sisters Martha and Mary. Martha greeted him at the door and he entered, but when he sat down, only Mary sat with him to hear what he had to say. Martha got busy (in the kitchen no doubt, getting ready to serve him a meal), though the text only says that she was distracted by her many tasks.
I guess she was jealous of Mary who got to sit with Jesus while she prepared the meal, so Martha went in and complained, “Jesus, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself?” She must have been disappointed when Jesus impatiently, or was it gently?, chided her instead of Mary. He said, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.”
Were you surprised at how modern this morning’s reading sounded, even when read from the 1611 King James Bible? I think it’s because we can relate, as either Mary or Martha.
Who among us is usually Mary, happily entertaining the invited guests in the living room, while someone else scurries around in the kitchen and dining room getting ready to serve the meal? Who among us is Martha, that hard-working, under-appreciated person in the kitchen? (Did I say “stuck” in the kitchen?)
I was thinking I might ask you to actually raise your hands—all those who are Martha, raise your hands… all those who are Mary…. But, with so many couples here this morning, I decided not to cause too much friction!
Or, maybe you all are ideal couples, each sharing equally of all kinds of tasks, or both happily doing what they enjoy which just happens to perfectly complement what the other enjoys??!
I certainly identify with Martha myself. What about you?
I’ve always been a doer, never a couch potato or someone who took up quiet hobbies like knitting for very long, and I have a terribly hard time getting my mind to stop thinking of things to do and instead pay attention to my breathing when I meditate. As the oldest daughter, I often felt that I had to do more household chores while my sisters got to play. And, as a woman married to a man whose sisters helped in the kitchen every day while he only had to take out the trash once a week and sometimes sweep out the garage… well, I’ve had my share of complaining like Martha!
Recently, I saw myself as Martha even more clearly. This year, I got to spend time at both Thanksgiving and Christmas with my extended family, which includes four very cute nieces under the age of five. Driving home after the Thanksgiving visit, I realized that I’d spent so much time helping my sister and brother-in-law in the kitchen (and having adult conversations) that I hadn’t spent any time playing with my nieces. They hardly know me, or I them. I resolved to do differently at Christmas!
During the Christmas visit, we all—twenty-four of us—went on a hike. I found myself falling farther and farther behind most of the adults. First I had to help one young niece relieve herself in the woods (having forgotten to tell her to use the bathroom before I helped her find her coat and mittens)! Then when we caught up with her two little cousins, and the two adults with them, the three girls started looking for treasures on the side of the path, and insisted on being swung along (you know, one between two adults, one holding each hand, “one, two, three… up we go!” with most of the progress forward being made during the moments their feet are off the ground!) or asking to be carried, and in other ways slowing us down. Soon, I’d forgotten my hope to enjoy spending time with my nieces and started feeling impatient that the folks up ahead weren’t stopping to wait for us!
What would Jesus have said about that? Why, he’d have admonished me like he did Martha: Diane, the “better part” is being with your nieces, so just slow down to their pace and enjoy them!
But, truly, I wish Jesus had said to Martha, “Come, sit down, you can listen to me too, and then all three of us will finish preparing the meal.” Or, “I’ll visit with you after the meal, Martha, while Mary does the washing up.” Or he could have said to Mary, “Come on, Mary, let’s have our conversation where your sister can participate while she cooks for us.”
Maybe we don’t like what Jesus said to Martha, “Mary has chosen the better part”—and it’s not the To Do list work, it’s the contemplative, spiritual development work—the being, not the doing—“and it won’t be taken away from her.” “Go back to the kitchen, Martha!” he may just as well have said. (Hey, maybe Jesus just wanted to be alone with Mary?!!)
Seriously, don’t we need a balance of “doing” and “being?” If everyone sits in the living room talking, we’ll all go hungry!
In the story, Jesus says, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing.” Maybe he didn’t mean to say that the only thing needed was to sit and listen like Mary. Maybe he meant that if Martha wasn’t worried and distracted by so many things to do, she would have time to sit down and listen, too. Some interpreters of this text wonder if it is meant to be read even more literally: “don’t try to make too many dishes for this meal, only one is needed, Martha.” If we just have one dish, you’ll have time to listen as well as cook. Maybe he just meant the KISS Principle: Keep It Simple, Stupid!
But, I’m doing the story a disservice here by making it sound like an either/or situation—either “being” with Jesus like Mary or “doing” for him like Martha. Being OR Doing.
This scripture does not need to be read as an either/or situation. Instead, what if we read it as an encouragement to be centered, to start from and return to a center or a focus, from which we do what we are moved to do, then we will not be distracted like Martha with all that we haven’t accomplished yet.
But, I’m also doing the story a disservice by suggesting that it calls for a balance between “doing” and “being.” It doesn’t. Instead, Jesus clearly says that Mary has chosen the better part.
Anyone who has ever sat with a loved one as they approached death, knows that there isn’t anything to DO other than just BE with the person. To accept death in that way can feel like a moment of grace.
Often this is true also when someone is suffering in pain, grief, sorrow, depression, sickness or just plain confusion—our best present is our loving, calm presence. Sometimes, in being with someone we learn that there is something for us to DO that could alleviate their suffering, but rarely do we come to know what that might be if we are busy tidying up their bedside table.
So far, we’ve been discussing how this lesson applies to our personal lives. But there are lessons for congregational life here, as well. In fact, I’ve been meaning to preach this sermon for several years now, ever since the September leadership retreat a few years ago here at First Parish when someone said that First Parish had gone so far in the direction of DOING that we risked losing her, because she needed more BEING in her life and less doing. Her full-time day job was in one of the helping professions and she had a small child at home; she said she comes to First Parish for renewal and loves it enough to want to give of herself as a leader, but she didn’t want to be made to feel a failure if she couldn’t DO even more.
After that, the Parish Committee began to ask itself (and me) from time to time, how are our spirits? Are we “being” enough or are we “doing” too much?
That October, at a Unitarian Universalist ministers’ meditation retreat led by our esteemed retired UU colleague Carl Scovel, formerly minister of Kings Chapel in Boston, he said to us , "We are imprisoned in Martha churches. How do we create congregations willing and able to accommodate and feed the Mary in each person?"
And, an expert on congregational change and dynamics [Anthony B. Robinson, in “Vicious Cycles: The Anxious Congregation” in Christian Century, November 2, 2004] wrote about “Martha congregations” in an article published that November,
As I travel around the country visiting and consulting with congregations and clergy, I find that many are caught in vicious cycles in which members say things like “we must do more,” “we must do better,” “we must work harder.” There is nothing intrinsically wrong with any of these sentiments. We usually can do what we do a little better. But in [a] vicious cycle, this anxiety leads to a heightened level of activity that is without clear focus or sense of purpose. It gives rise to “strategic plans” that are not so much plans as laundry lists of everyone’s great ideas and particular interests. While most items on these lists have value, the attempts to accomplish everything on the lists result in congregations that are spread too thin…And one hears, or overhears, [expressions of] resentment [like], “So many people around here never do anything!” “A few of us do all the work!”
He wouldn’t hear those things if he came here today. Lots of people do the work of First Parish, in fact—almost everyone here does something to help maintain this as their spiritual home. And the people who are wearing too many hats have been encouraged to take a few of them off. The over-extended Marthas here are encouraged to do less, so they can nourish the Mary in themselves.
While I think there are still sometimes small pockets of fretful sentiments in our congregation like “we should do more” or “we never do ___” --fill in the blank with whatever the person feels is important (and I apologize for the times I’ve contributed to that anxiety), it’s clear that we’ve matured a lot in the last two years.
We’re not as much of a “Martha congregation” as we used to be. We’ve been feeding the Mary in each person. We’re more centered, we trust ourselves, each other, “the spirit,” and the process more. We’re planning for opportunities, not just reacting to needs and crises (though last year when two furnaces had to be replaced, they were!).
Furthermore, a couple years ago, before we began a strategic planning process, we engaged the congregation in determining our vision and purpose. Since then we’ve had a uniting focus, printed on the front of your order of worship every week, and declared in short-form at the beginning of every service, “welcome to First Parish where it is our intent to deepen our faith and better our world.”
This focus will guide the leaders of the congregation—the Strategic Planning Task Force on Wednesday and again on Saturday with the Parish Committee and Chairpersons of all the committees—in their deliberations this week regarding the shaping of a strategic plan out of the items brainstormed back in November, the goals of each of our committees shared with you in the service on January 7th, and the congregation-wide survey conducted earlier this month.
I hope the parish leaders will rise above mere “survey tabulation” as they determine the priorities for our next five years. They will need, I think, to get a view from the steeple, so to speak, of what will best serve to deepen our faith and better our world. They must look into the heart and soul of the congregation, and their own hearts as its leaders, to see how the spirit there, the energy, can best be directed. And to see how to create energy where our energy is weak, for example among high school youth.
We must trust the parish leaders to envision how our short-term goals can build toward our longer-range goals and which ones will best come before others. I am confident that our strategic plan won’t be a mere laundry list of everyone’s great ideas and particular interests!
The afore-mentioned expert on congregational change and dynamics says that when he works with a congregation, he asks, “what are your vital few—the vital few things that your board, your staff or your church must do and do well to be faithful and effective? How can the resources God has placed within and among you be channeled for the greatest effect?”
It seems to me that there is something about the image of Mary sitting at the feet of Jesus that conveys the essence of leadership and how to center ourselves in contemplation before planning. I’m reminded that back on January 7 th, in the worship service, Larry Cotton led a guided meditation that hopefully moved you into a contemplative mode, in which he directed you to allow your deepest selves to imagine the First Parish of the future as best you could imagine it to be. Hopefully, this contemplative mode guided you as you later completed the Strategic Planning survey. From a Mary mode to a Martha mode, so to speak.
Similarly, this week, as our leaders move forward in creating a plan that will point First Parish toward its future, it would be good to start with meditative, prayerful moments, in which they might center themselves into their deeper faith and call upon the spirit of life and of love to infuse them as they do the planning work, which the parish has empowered them to do.
Before we end, I’d like to go back to the story itself, to Jesus’ words to Martha: You are worried and anxious about many things, but only one thing is necessary.
My esteemed colleague Carl Scovel asks,
“But what is the one thing? Jesus doesn’t say in this passage.
For Kierkegaard it was purity of heart (singleness of purpose.)
For Vince Lombardi it was winning football games.
For Zorba the Greek it was “a certain madness.”
For Donald Trump - well…
For T.S. Eliot it was “the condition of complete simplicity,
costing no less than everything.”
At that moment in our story from Luke, the “better part” was what Mary chose: to sit and listen to the great teacher. But we know from the scriptures that the teachings of Jesus were as much about “doing” as they were about “being,” really. Some would say that for Jesus the “better part,” the one thing, is to “better the world” by doing the work of love and justice we are called to do.
Look at what precedes the Martha-Mary story in the book of Luke. Immediately before it is the story of the Good Samaritan, which challenges us to expect the best, not the worst, from those who are hated or marginalized in our society, and admonishes us to take care of our needy neighbors. Immediately before that story is the one in which the young lawyer asks Jesus what he must do to inherit eternal life and the answer can be summed up in one word: LOVE.
Right after the Martha-Mary story in Luke, as if to further instruct us in the ways of Mary, Jesus teaches his disciples how to pray. And after that, he tells a parable the point of which reminds me of the song we used to sing in my Christian youth: “Seek and ye shall find, hey, knock and the door shall be opened, ask and it shall be given, and the love comes a-tumbling down.”
The parable echoes the Martha-Mary story and seems to suggest that if we turn inward to the expansiveness of mind and heart to be found in knowing ourselves and our god if by some name we worship or that which gives our life meaning-- in prayer, meditation, reflection, the beauty of a sunset or in physical exertion-- whether to ponder our personal plans or our congregational plans-- we shall find answers to guide us along our way. When we make mistakes, we will learn from the questions we ask about them. And when progress is made toward our ideals, we can rejoice. Either way, may we—as is said of the early Christians— may we be known by our love.
Amen.