First Parish Unitarian UniversalistHarmony and Balance
A sermon preached by the Reverend Diane D. Teichert
First Parish Unitarian Universalist - Canton, MA
January 6, 2008
A colleague [Rev. Victoria Safford*] described finding this epitaph on a headstone in a cemetery once: She attended well and faithfully to a few worthy things.
My colleague went on to reflect, “At first this seemed to me a little meager, a little stingy on the part of her survivors, but I wrote it down and have thought about it since, and now I can’t imagine a more proud or satisfying legacy… “
“Every day, I stand in danger of being struck by lightning and having [my] obituary in the local paper say, for all the world to see: She attended frantically and ineffectually to a great many unimportant, meaningless details.”
Which will we be? The ones who tend well and faithfully to a few worthy things or the ones who do too much, of too little importance, in a hurry, and not effectively?
Here at the start of a new year, some of us will be listing our resolutions for 2008: the new good habits we’ll start and the old bad habits we’ll stop, and the new ventures, skills, personality traits, and even hair colors we’re going to try out.
Some of us make resolutions in September, or on our birthday, and some of us don’t make resolutions at all, ever. But, for those of us who do make New Years Resolutions, most of us—I suspect—would do well to drop two commitments for every one new thing we resolve to add to our lives! Only then could we attend well and faithfully to a few worthy things.
Is this true for our congregation, too? Is First Parish attending well and faithfully to a few worthy things, or are we frantically and ineffectually doing too much that’s not important?
That is the question I posed in my January 2007 newsletter column, “Minister’s mUUsings.” I said then that it was a hard question to answer. And I wrote, “When I look at our calendar or read the newsletter, everything we do seems worthy. And, there’s a lot of energy and increased attendance on Sundays, good signs.”
I went on, “But, still, I worry about over-loading those whose voluntary efforts make all that we do possible. Please, be sure that you receive as much as you give in what you do for First Parish. And say ‘no’ if you feel burdened.”
“On the other hand,” I characteristically continued—being a Libra, I’m almost addicted to balance...
“On the other hand, we are always looking for people to give of themselves—whether it’s bringing dinner to a fellow-parishioner, ushering on Sunday, serving on a committee, or working on a service or justice project. So, if you are resolving to add meaning to your life, and would like to help First Parish tend well and faithfully to its few worthy things, just say so!”
That was January 2007.
In the year since (well, actually, starting back in September 2006), we worked hard at developing a Five Year Strategic Plan and since this September began implementing it. The development process was led by an intrepid task force. Most members and attenders got involved in stating their hopes and goals, by completing a survey or attending one or more of the forums offered. Special opportunities for input were given to parish leaders such as committee chairs. From all of that input, and with a keen sense of leading us into the future, the task force developed a draft plan, it was reviewed in several iterations, and finally-- at the Annual Meeting last June-- a Five Year Strategic Plan was adopted, and Year One was funded,.
In fact, we’re enjoying, we’re hearing, one of Year One’s treasures today. As you may recall, or for those who are new this year, one of the desires expressed by many during the strategic planning process was for the choir to sing more often. But, that turned out not to be the desire of either the choir or the choir director, so an alternative was funded, with $500, to provide special music on a few of the Sundays when the choir is not singing. Voila! The Cello Chix! The next will be on March 2 nd, when the young drummer Matt Meyer will return to co-lead an Intergenerational service and an afternoon workshop.
But, other Year One goals have proved not to be as easy to realize as inviting guest musicians. And so, this year, the question I would pose now is not the one I asked last January, “Is First Parish attending well and faithfully to a few worthy things, or are we frantically and ineffectually doing too much that’s not important?“
Because, one of the purposes of a strategic plan, I think you would agree, is to set priorities, to mutually agree upon our “few worthy things.” Therefore, our Strategic Plan helped us set our sights on select priorities for the year and I don’t think we are doing much that is un-important!
The question for now might be: Are we trying to do those few worthy things frantically and, therefore, ineffectually? Simply put, are we overwhelmed?
The answer is yes, according to what’s been heard along the grapevine by the congregation’s leadership, the Parish Committee. So, they are reaching out to invite you in for conversation about the pace of First Parish life, next Sunday at noon. The President, Larry Cotton, announced it in his newsletter column (just sent this past Wednesday to your mail or e-box and also posted on our website).
He wrote, “Here at First Parish we have maintained a rather ambitious pace as we continue implementation of our strategic plan. That has required, and will continue to ask a high level of commitment from each of us. Are you feeling excited, energized and invigorated? Or are you tired, frustrated and overloaded? What is working for you, and what is not?”
They have planned a Forum on Finding the Balance, an opportunity to voice feelings about the pace of life here at First Parish, especially in relation to achieving the goals of our Strategic Plan, but also in reference to committee work and the many volunteer roles involved in keeping First Parish going.
As Larry wrote, “On Sunday, January 13 at noon representatives of the Parish Committee and the Committee on Ministry will be on hand to hear your voice. It is vital to our health as a congregation that each person feel supported in voicing their concerns and frustrations. Without that information First Parish leadership cannot accurately make the course adjustments needed to reach our goals .”
This keeping a balance is truly an art, whether for ourselves as individuals or for our community. She attended well and faithfully to a few worthy things. How do we as individuals attend well and faithfully to a few worthy things?
Maybe you’ve heard this anonymous story before.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."
This being a story about college students, the professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table… but I’ll say it’s a cup of coffee and a cup of tea…. and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends, [and I would add, your religious community!], your favorite passions--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
"The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else--the small stuff.
If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner or sibling or a friend out to dinner, or better yet, invite them over.
"Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a… cup of tea or coffee… with a friend."
First Parish knows what its golf balls are—we have bylaws and we have a strategic plan. But this is a voluntary association, and we are in charge. It is not a workplace, and there is no boss. And they are only goals. If they are proving to be too much, people need to ask for help from the community in accomplishing them, or for more time, or for a readjustment on how many golf balls are in the jar at once.
But let’s not give upon our intentions! Let’s trust the collective wisdom of our process! Let us remember that we brought our best and most wise and hopeful selves to our planning process, and bring those same most wise and hopeful selves to the achieving of our dreams for our religious home.
Just like in our personal lives, when we are overwhelmed, we can choose to do fewer less important things in order that we do the more important things well and work harder on them. We can ask for help. We can adjust our expectations and accept that, like home repairs, almost everything takes longer than anticipated.
And, we can remember the words of Jesus who said “can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life?” (Luke 12:25). Or as in the Buddhist tradition, we can “stay in the moment,” putting our attention on the present moment, rather than worrying about past or future moments.
When we do that, we discover that each present moment if far more layered, far richer than we’d previously known, and—miraculously—that tape player in the brain is shut off for the moment, and it stops playing its endless negative tape of worry or of fear or distrust or discouragement.
Then we might discover that the present moment has a luster, or a texture, or a fragrance or song that we had not previously noticed. Or, if not, if the moment is trouble, it only lasts a moment, and then there is the next moment to which to attend, and the next, and the next, and soon there will be one in which we know harmony and balance, for the moment.
So let it be said of us that we are ones who know our golf balls from the pebbles and sand.
Let it be said of us here at First Parish that we “attend well and faithfully to a few worthy things.” Amen.
* Victoria Safford, the minister at White Bear UU Church in MN where I spent nearly a month of my sabbatical in two years ago, from a piece in her meditation collection Walking Toward Morning (available from the UUA Bookstore).