First Parish Unitarian Universalist
Canton, Massachusetts

Inside the Yellow Doors: Three Reflections

First Parish Unitarian Universalist - Canton, MA
January 26, 2003

Part I – by Don: Reflections on What’s Inside the Yellow Doors

I live a less than a half-mile from the Murray UU Church in Attleboro, but First Parish UU-Canton is home to me. I grew up here. My family history here goes back many generations on my mother’s side. I attended Sunday school classes here through eighth grade. I was active in the high school youth group, which was then known as Liberal Religious Youth (LRY), as a participant and youth leader. I have been an active member of the church community since the age of twelve. I remember setting tables and doing dishes at church suppers and serving as a runner during the annual auction. I first spoke from this pulpit as part of the Christmas service when I was thirteen. As a member of LRY I took part in youth services, running amok in the building, bike trips, camping trips, conferences, spaghetti dinners, ‘Rappin with the Rev’, peer counseling, and annual overnights on Easter eve prior to climbing Blue Hill for sunrise service. At some point prior to the merger of the Unitarian church with the Universalist Church in Canton, the two churches shared a minister. At various times I rode my bike and attended both churches on the same day to see if there was a difference in the services. As I recall, it was the same sermon, but different hymns. As a young adult, I was an advisor to the youth group. In Junior High School, I was in one of the first classes to take the About Your Sexuality Course. As an adult, I have been an adult facilitator for AYS. To many of you, I have been known as “The Church Services Guy” after serving on that committee for about 8 years. I have been on two Ministerial Search Committees, as well as several searches for Directors of Religious Education. I have taught Sunday school and served on the Religious Education Committee. I have directed Sunday school productions. I crewed and acted in the Haunted House. I have served on the Committee on Ministry. I have been the church sexton. I’ve sung in the choir. I have been a member of a food coop here. I have taken adult education classes including Building Your Own Theology. I have been a pledging member of FPUU since age 18. I have represented FPUU-Canton at two General Assemblies. My wife and I met at church. She grew up in the Universalist Church community. We were married here at FPUU 17 years ago. Our children were dedicated here.

This listing of my more than 30-years of church activities may give you a sense of my exposure to UU principles growing up. Participation in the life of the church community gave me an intrinsic sense of the UU Principles. Being a part of the church leadership often requires a conscious consideration of those principles as part of the planning and execution of the duties in those roles. The constancy of this community in my life has helped me to grow into the person I am today and imbued my sense of identity with the essentials of Unitarian-Universalism as stated in our Principles.

However, that exposure is only part of the challenge of growing up as a Unitarian-Universalist. My religious experience growing up was different from most of my schoolmates. Most were Catholic, many were Protestant, and some were Jewish. I learned the Lord’s Prayer as a child, but did not have a true Christian indoctrination or identification. I do not recall biblical references in Sunday school until I graduated 8th grade and was given an illustrated book of bible stories. As a Unitarian-Universalist, I had no rite of passage like First Communion or Bar Mitzvah with the required training in a belief system. I wondered what it was all about. My personal belief system has evolved over time. It has run the gamut from atheism to theism. When I was nine my father had cancer. I asked God to take me rather than him so that my family could be taken care of. Although my dad survived, I did not receive a personal answer to my prayers, so I stopped believing in God. I guess there is no pleasing some kids! I was exposed to Quakerism through the Farm and Wilderness camps. There was daily Meeting that required the camp community to gather in silence. The opportunity was there to share if the spirit moved you. Over time, I learned with difficulty to hear my inner spirit. In nature I found the inspiration for faith in something greater than myself. Many friends became born again Christians. I supported them in their choice of faith, but struggled to understand the why, how and what of it. I read a lot about religious philosophies and concepts including transcendental meditation, Zen, Buddhism, karma, ESP, spiritualism, chanting, native traditions, the spirit of nature, and about our place as human beings in the world. I have tried meditation in many forms including yoga, tai ch’i, group chanting, and sitting quietly in natural settings. Today I believe in a supreme power that permeates the Universe, but I do not choose to give it a name. My explorations of sacred texts and conversations with people of faith make me certain that there are basic truths to be found and shared. People of different faiths give different names to those truths. We express them quite well in the Principles that we profess as UU’s.

We are free to believe as we wish, but it is our individual responsibility to determine the path we follow in exercising our beliefs. The path we choose includes participation in our community of faith, joining together to make a statement of faith or commitment to one another. I support this faith community financially and with my time. I share my family with this community and my family shares me with the community. The opportunity is here to participate with your family in this community of faith. Take what you need and give what you can. The path we choose also leads to participation in the greater community beyond the Yellow Doors. Reach out to your friends and neighbors to share in a way that is comfortable for you. The sharing generates understanding. It improves the lives of those you touch and improves your life by you being present. Thank you.

Part II – by Laurie: Reflections On What’s Inside the Yellow Doors: A View of the Present

In preparing for this service, I have had the pleasure of speaking with many of you about what it means to you to be a UU and a member of this congregation. Before I share with you some of what you each told me, I just want to reiterate what I hope you already know. I feel very fortunate to be part of a group of people, who are so highly principled and caring and are enriched by exploring important life questions.

I asked each person two questions: “What makes you proud to be a UU?” and “What gets you excited about being part of the First Parish community?”

I chose those questions because I wanted to test my assumption that many of you share my enthusiasm for being a UU and part of this community. I am happy to report that my conversations reaffirmed my belief that, for many of us, our reasons for being here are closely linked with who we are as individuals.

So how did you respond to the question “What makes you proud to be a UU?” Here is some of what you told me:

According to Barbara, “UUs assume more personal responsibility to figure out what feels right to believe.” Such responsibility was important to Barbara when her husband Bill was critically ill some years ago, and she felt a need to accept the realistic belief of what might happen without relying on what she felt were false hopes and prayers.

Kathleen is pleased that UU religious education exposes kids to multiple world faiths to foster the beginnings of an understanding of the need to be open. We are not encouraged to believe any particular doctrine, but to explore our own belief system.

Laura is proud of our shared focus on world peace, tolerance and diversity. She told me, “It’s nice to know that I am not alone in my belief system and that there is a place to explore what we believe. It is awesome that there is a place to go and be accepted for whatever I believe.”

Hedy finds UUism a “refreshing change from religious dogma. The focus is on family and community – all the things that are important to me.” Hedy shared with me that, years ago, she could not discuss her views about Christianity with other Christians because they were not willing to examine their beliefs. She is thrilled that she found UUism because now she feels that she is encouraged to question and explore. This reinforces her feelings that she should never stop learning or growing.

Laura feels that we share a purpose about making the world a better place and making a difference in the community. She is reminded each Sunday that she is proud to be a UU – “that this is a safe place to come and be recognized as a family; that differences are celebrated here.”

Stacey was proud when her children were dedicated recently and that the community was asked to share in the responsibility of raising her children. She also feels that we have the right thrust on peace, social justice and the inherent worth of the individual.

Other things that I heard included:

• Being proud of the liberal views and tolerance held by UUs, the work of social justice, and the fact that we actively promote diversity of views and cultures.
• The fact that UUs find it acceptable (even preferable sometimes) to disagree and for others to have different opinions. There is no fear of retribution or judgement for speaking one’s mind.
• That UUism opens our eyes to global issues and helps us to focus on areas for improving the quality of life for those less privileged than ourselves.
• That UUs may believe different things, but they often share common values and encourage the exploration of spiritual issues.

The second question that I discussed with each person was “What gets you excited about being part of the First Parish community?” Six themes emerged in your responses to this question.

The first consistent theme that I heard was that people feel that we are a family-like community. I heard things like, “it is easy to be here,”“I feel at home,” “I love the people,”“there is a special closeness and trust.” We get a wonderful warm feeling from being with each other and knowing that, in a time of need, many among us would be there to support us.

The second message was that you find the congregation to be open-minded and willing to grow. We are a community of diverse opinions, where we respect each other’s differences. We are open to considering new ideas and initiatives. We have displayed stamina through some difficult times, and now, this is an active place, where there is lots going on, and we are moving in a positive direction.

The third point that you made loud and clear was that you are thrilled that Diane is our minister. She has an effective way of listening and observing and then quietly provides persuasive leadership as we explore issues and consider choices. She is always available to provide her wisdom and sensitivity to any situation. And doesn’t she know how to choose just the right words to express what you might be thinking, but with a more diplomatic choice of words?

Fourthly, you told me that you are appreciative for our religious education program. The kids are exposed to a broad base of religious knowledge and learn about the world. The curricula and the community foster tolerance and acceptance as the kids grow and learn. Lyn does a great job making sure that the RE program is inviting to children and explores a variety of important life lessons in depth.

Fifthly, we love the music. Lucia’s organ playing contributes to the spiritual aura of our worship services. You also told me that you think the adult musical program is exciting and fulfilling, and that Allan is great. As Kathleen told me, when the choir sings, “the music transports me to another place”.

The final theme in my conversations was about our connectedness to the community. Those whom I talked to felt that we are a tightly-knit group that is struggling to define how we should relate to the community at large. We seem to be well-known as the “church with the yellow doors”, but beyond that, there is no consistency of opinion of who we are. This lack of understanding within the larger community has prevailed for a long time, and some of us have begun to discuss what we might do to change it. How might we reach out to others and invite them to see what’s inside our yellow doors? Is growth of our congregation something that we are seriously interested in pursuing? It seems that we consistently have great ideas about things that we want to accomplish and not quite enough people to achieve our dreams. These are topics, which I would like to continue to explore with all of you in coming weeks and months.

I hope that much of what I have shared echoes your own thoughts and feelings about being part of this wonderful community. I found these conversations to be an exhilarating reinforcement of the UU principles that we hold so dear. So what is inside the yellow doors? A lot of good and special things go on here that make me very proud to be among you!

Part III – by Diane: Inside the Yellow Doors: A Reflection

Last September, at our annual retreat for the leadership of the congregation, this question was posed: What is the community’s perception of First Parish?

And the first response was: they know it’s “the one with the yellow doors.” And the second answer was: nobody knows what we are or what we believe.

Many in the group seemed to feel that First Parish is somehow invisible to the community—that it’s just the building where the preschool, dance studio and AA meetings are held and where the haunted house and annual auction used to be (and that’s more than ten years ago now).

Many in the group seemed to feel that what people out there think they know about us is more to do with what they think we are NOT than about what they think we ARE: there’s no required CCD or Hebrew School there, they didn’t want the police station next door, they don’t believe in God, they’re not Christian, they’re not Jewish, they’re not anything!!

A few had even heard friends or neighbors demean First Parish-- by one as a country club, by another as a cult.

Many in the group said they feel First Parish is associated with more positive (at least to us) things like women ministers, liberal social views, diversity, and sexuality education. Now, these associations are true, and we have promoted them. So, in that sense they are accurate associations. But, I believe that they are mere byproducts of the essential us. They fail to capture what is most important to us about us!

Just think back to what the children said this morning. Just think back to what Don and Laurie shared this morning. The qualities of Unitarian Universalism in general and First Parish in particular most important to Don, to Laurie, and to the others Laurie interviewed in preparation for her talk this morning… were about what we do believe, about the caring sense of community inside the yellow doors, and about our freedom (even though it often feels like a burden) our freedom to wrestle with life’s big questions and not be dictated the answers.

The September leadership retreat led directly to this worship service today. During the months in between, folks were talking about the yellow doors. An image of our yellow doors open wide emerged as a possible logo for First Parish. It has also been proposed that we take advantage of our reputation as “the one with the yellow doors” by using that line in press releases, on flyers and posters. Even the question, “what’s inside the yellow doors?” could be used.

Right after the service today, in the Sermon Circle, we will be brainstorming about the design of a new banner for First Parish, which we hope to have ready in June. Here’s a chance to use these yellow door ideas. Everyone is invited to participate, or if you cannot, to submit your ideas to me in writing, and to attend the follow-up planning meeting this Tuesday night at 7:30 p.m. in the Chapel. Here’s a chance to do something with the yellow doors!

It troubled us at the leadership retreat that the community knows First Parish is the one with the yellow doors, without knowing anything about who or what we are.

I think it’s good that we are wondering about the discrepancy between how we are understood in the community and who and what we feel we are. It’s leading us to want to understand and define ourselves more clearly, so that we can present ourselves to the community more clearly. It’s leading us to ask: what makes this religious community of ours religious? What makes this religious community of ours a community?

It’s good that we are wondering about our lack of a public image. It’s great that we want to do something about it.

Five years ago when I was called to be your minister, you were not ready to do that. The needs then were for stability, and for healing after conflict and then tragedy involving ministers. The needs then were for more kindness in how you communicated with one another, and for ongoing leadership development. The interior of the building, being tired and cluttered, somehow reflected how the congregation felt about itself.

It takes a certain level of health for a congregation to know, and embrace!, who it is becoming and to want to proclaim what it has to offer to the world.

First Parish is achieving that level of health. It took time and hard work by many. The building looks great, but it’s not just that. More and more, First Parish likes who it is. We are affirming who we are. We are aware of what makes us proud to be UU’s. We can name what gets us excited about First Parish.

We are wanting more people to know what’s inside our yellow doors.
We want them to come inside because we feel it could change their lives, too.
We want them to come inside because we need them to join us in changing the world!

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